Understanding Challenging Behavior in Early Childhood
What Is Your Child’s Behavior Telling You?
Hello, parents and educators!
Young children do not always have the words to tell us what they need. Sometimes, their behavior does the talking for them.
Crying, yelling, hitting, refusing, or shutting down can be frustrating for adults. But before we respond, it helps to ask:
“What is this behavior telling me?”
Why Do Challenging Behaviors Happen?
Young children are still learning how to manage big feelings, communicate their needs, and handle difficult situations.
A child may be hungry, tired, overwhelmed, frustrated, or unsure of what to do. They may know something feels wrong but not have the words or skills to explain it.
This does not mean we ignore challenging behavior. It means we look for what may be causing the behavior while teaching the child a better way to respond.
5 Ways to Look for the Why Behind the Behavior
Watch their body. Look for clues such as rubbing their eyes, covering their ears, turning away, or tightening their fists.
Listen closely. Pay attention to what the child says and how they say it. Their voice may give you clues about how they are feeling.
Notice what happened before. Did the behavior happen during cleanup? After another child took a toy? When the parent left? What happened right before the behavior can tell you a lot.
Look at the environment. Think about noise, crowds, changes in routine, hunger, tiredness, or other things that may be affecting the child.
Look for patterns. If a behavior keeps happening, write down when and where it happens. Over time, you may begin to notice a pattern.
What Does This Look Like in Real Life?
Imagine a child begins crying and pushing materials away during an activity.
Instead of immediately saying:
“Stop crying and finish your work.”
You might stop and think about what happened first.
Maybe the activity is too hard. Maybe the child is tired. Maybe the room is too loud.
You could say:
“I see that you are having a hard time. Show me what you need help with.”
You are not ignoring the behavior. You are trying to understand it so you can respond in a way that helps the child learn.
Remember
Behavior gives us information.
When challenging behavior happens, look beyond what the child is doing and ask why it might be happening. Once we understand the need or skill behind the behavior, we are in a better position to teach, guide, and support the child.
Before you correct the behavior, take a moment to understand what it may be communicating.
